queer wedding story

i’m queer, i’m getting married. this is our story.

Baby Steps February 23, 2007

Filed under: girly,m,me — Misslissa @ 9:08 am

We went to speak to Michael Dean last weekend, to get some ideas about what our wedding bands might look like and it was great. He seems like a nice guy who really wants us to get what we want. M worked with him to design my engagement ring and now we want to wedding bands to compliment it. My ring is different from any ring I’ve ever seen, M had something specific in mind and Michael helped that happen. Now we want to make sure the band M wears is similar. He’s easy to talk to and understands my vague descriptions of what I want. The fact that his studio’s on Granville Island doesn’t hurt either, I love it there.

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A ring! February 12, 2007

Filed under: girly,m,me — Misslissa @ 10:23 am

I got M a ring on Friday. We’re calling it a ‘placeholder’. It cost less than $20 and it’s not that nice, it’s not ugly, but it’s plain and silver and we got it at the ferry terminal. I feel strange about it, that she put so much thought into the ring I wear on my finger and we chose hers in a flurry before we caught a ferry. It looks great though, every time I see it I smirk. It helps to remind me of all the things M works every day to ensure I don’t forget.

In other news, I think I want to wear a veil. I’ve was inspired after seeing this post on Offbeat Bride. It’s not the poofy horrible thing I always imagine veils are and she looks lovely. In her comments, she does admit to removing it after two songs, but I think it’s looks lovely.

By the way, Offbeat Bride rocks my world! I haven’t read Ariel’s book yet, but it does seem to be the right kind of book from a perspective that won’t get me all upset. Besides, I like Ariel’s style and irreverence, her pink braids and her obsession with documenting lunch.

I had a horrible dream the other day. M and I were getting married in my old high school’s Multi Purpose Room (multi purpose indeed!). M wasn’t really happy about plans to walk down the aisle with my parents and so wandered ahead. I figured M would stop at our makeshift alter, but instead kept on walking, into the chairs set up and proceeded to remove articles of clothing. To be honest it was just trousers, but in my dream it was the height of transgression! How dare you remove your clothing at our wedding! I was furious and stomped over there trying to convince my betrothed to put on what I saw as required clothing, and marry me. M kept resisting, standing there, hands on hips, refusing to give in. I woke up before it ended, but I was quite upset. I turned to M and immediately demanded a promise that trousers would be worn for the ENTIRE duration of our wedding ceremony and reception!

 

Daydreaming of dresses November 16, 2006

Filed under: girly,me — Misslissa @ 11:03 am

When I think about my wedding, when I imagine it, I’m on a beach barefoot and grinning. I’ve thought about what beach and who I want to be there, I’ve got the image down to squishing the sand between my toes but I cannot summon the image of a dress. I have no idea what I want to wear. You see, I have a dress, a wonderfully sexy and beautiful dress that I bought months ago. I have it in green too; it’s been dubbed ‘the hot dress’ because it is. I had to have it because I believed that I was beautiful when I saw my reflection, it was a clear moment where I understood what M’s always saying. So when I found out that the white ones were half price at my favourite plus-sized boutique, I had to have it.

“We’ll dye it black and it’ll be perfect!” I exclaimed. M was less enthusiastic, but we had a look anyway. M sat on a chair in the fitting room when I put it on and, while white isn’t my colour and having seen me in the dress before it wasn’t a surprise, there was an unmistakable smirk, “That could be your wedding dress.” We giggled softly, bought the dress, hid it in the back of the closet and didn’t talk about it for weeks. When we did finally look at it again, we discovered that it couldn’t be dyed, as it’s not 100% cotton, and back it went into the closet.

The dress was bought before there was a wedding to go to, but now there is one and I’m really struggling with whether I want to wear it. It’s perfect, it’s fits and it looks amazing, it’s white and feminine and not too formal, it’s comfortable and it means that I don’t have to spend any time in expensive, intimidating bridal shops trying on dresses that don’t fit.

I’m sure I’ll end up wearing it and it’ll be lovely. I guess I just thought buying a wedding dress might be more of a big deal. But this whole thing has got me thinking about how difficult it is to find people who understand about the dress and other seemingly trivial wedding details. Maybe my mum or my sister would care, but they don’t understand about the delicate balance that I’m trying to find between girly and gross!